- Steve: What is this?
- Susan: It's a cushion.
- Steve: Right. Yes. Thank you for that. Very informative.
- [to Jeff]
- Steve: You got any of these?
- Jeff: No.
- Steve: Of course you haven't.
- [to shop assistant]
- Steve: You - are you married? Living with anyone?
- Junior Shop Assistant: No.
- Steve: Got any of these?
- Junior Shop Assistant: No.
- Steve: Of course not. Okay!
- [to the women]
- Steve: You bring these things into our homes. They sit on our chairs. They watch our televisions. Now, I just need to know, on behalf of all men everywhere, I just need to ask, please... What are they for? I mean, look at them! Look at the chubby little bastards! Just sitting around everywhere! What are they, pets for chairs?
- [to shop assistants]
- Steve: Come on, you sell them. What are they for?
- Junior Shop Assistant: Well...
- Senior Shop Assistant: You sit on them.
- Steve: Ah! Ha ha ha! You see, that's where you're wrong! Nobody sits on them. Okay, watch this. Here's the cushion. I'm putting it on the sofa. Now watch me. I'm stting down. And what do I do on my final approach? I - oh! - move the cushion! You see? It's not involved! It's not part of the whole sitting process. It just lies there. It's fat litter! It's a sofa parasite!
- Jane: It's, you know... padding.
- Steve: Oh, padding! Now, that's interesting, Jane. See, I like padding. If I was, say, an American Football player, and all those big bastards running at me, I would say "give me some of that padding and be quick about it." If my job involved bouncing down jagged rocks I would say "in view of those jagged rocks down there, I'll have some of that padding, thank you very much." But Susan, Sally, Jane, this is a sofa. It is designed by clever scientists in such a way as to shield the unprotected user from the risk of skin abrasions, serious head trauma, and, of course...
- [drops behind sofa, then sticks head out]
- Steve: Daleks. Trust me girls, trust me on this one: you do not need padding to tackle upholstery. So please - once and for all, tell me why on Earth you would want me to sit on one of these?
- Susan: Because, if you pressed it firmly against your bottom, it might stop you talking!
CorpGoth Harley Quinn!
Real Hacker vs Movie Hacker
- real hacker: So you say you're gonna break into our local nuclear power plant? I really don't think that's possible
- movie hacker: *types a few keystrokes* I'm in
- real hacker: But the power plant's computers aren't even connected to the internet
- movie hacker: I said I'm in. Now I'll cause a meltdown *types a few keystrokes* Done
- real hacker: What do you mean done? There have to be many redundant safeguards in place to stop a meltdown. In any case, a meltdown would take time.
- movie hacker: Want me to break into the CIA next?
- real hacker: I don't even think you should attempt to...
- movie hacker: *types a few keystrokes* Too late. I'm in
When I tell someone that NinjaSpyBoy goes to eleven, and they don’t ‘get’ it, I cry a little on the inside.
People who have not seen This Is Spinal Tap need to hurry up and watch it
They need this movie in their lives :D